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hey there! I'm Jana

I am an alchemist, a free spirit, a mover & shaker, and a lover of depths.

Fearless collector of experiences for the highest good of all.

I believe in inquiry over imposition.

But I wasn't always this way.

For most of my life, my beliefs were a copy of everyone else’s beliefs. I followed the light of others, because my own light had become so dim I could no longer see it. It had been dampened by all of the trauma and repression — partially or entirely — of all the awkward, uncomfortable, frail elements of my personality and experience that I, as a vulnerable human being, pushed away in order to “grow up” and maintain the socialized ego required by a complicated and competitive civilization.

I always knew this wasn't the right way to live. I felt, deep inside, that a feeling of wholeness awaited me.


I accidentally began my great journey to wholeness at the age of 25 in an unlikely setting - at 3am on a Wednesday night, partying in a nightclub in New York City. In that loud, sweaty club, I met a man, Jan Christensen, who seemed to know something essential that I didn't know. He invited me to join him, two days later, on a ten-day silent meditation retreat at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA. I had never practiced meditation and was a casual visitor to the yoga classes at my gym. It was a real case of following the white rabbit.

The paradigm shift happened at one of the last sittings of the retreat. Following ten days filled with 16 hours of alternating walking and sitting meditation, I had a grand realization - that, although each person is different, our brains fundamentally work the same. And although our life paths are different, we all fundamentally want the same things. We want to be happy. We want to be healthy. We want to be safe. We want to be loved, and we want to feel whole.

In the stillness, in that quietude, I heard myself for the first time. Not the voices of my parents telling me what's right or wrong, not the voices of my aggressors that I confused with my own, not the voices of the societal structure that, in order to fit into, I willingly chopped off whole parts of myself for.

 

It was just...me.

And it reminded me that I wanted all of those things too.

That voice told me that happiness, health, safety, and peace come from the acceptance of all that is, including all that is me. It told me to start, and not stop, until I gathered, put back together, and nursed back to life all of the missing parts of me. It guided me to invite back all of my parts and to be ready to greet them when they arrived.

This call to wholeness led me to voraciously explore, from the farthest reaches of the globe into the pages of colossal books, any and all philosophies, practices, and methods for quieting the mind that I could get my hands on. I wanted to stay quiet long enough to hear my call when I arrived.

It took me through religions and mysticism, through New Age self-help and ancient shamanistic studies, through Eastern energy philosophy and Western neuroscience, through cults and dungeons, through witchcraft and paganism, through being as loud as I could possibly be to try to drown out the voices to being as quiet as I could possible be - so quiet that I could barely function in society - through environmentalism and capitalism, from massive cities to tiny cabins completely cut off from civilization, through mountains, into canyons, and to the depths of the sea.

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It was there, floating on the surface of the ocean as I prepared to take my last breath before a freedive, that I realized that I could envelop myself in the quietude of the sea, sit on a cushion or practice asana on my mat, I could dance with the sky or barefoot in the woods, have tantric sex or become one with the sun, and access ecstatic states of presence, wholeness, joy, and peace...but as soon as I stepped off my mat or dropped out of the experience, I stepped right back into my highly traumatized body and cluttered mind.

What is actually happening here? What am I actually looking for?

Through the teachings of Alan Watts, Steve James, Godfrey Devereux, Jon Kabat Zinn, Erin Pace, Prasad Rengnekar, and Michaela Boehm, and subsequently through my own Yoga, embodiment, and freediving practices, I came to know that the space between where the surface of the ocean touches its infinite depths is not a space at all, just as there is no space between me and Source. It is a connection. The moment they touch, they become one another. And it is always available.

 

But when we become one with Source, what do we become? Who do we become? Will I still be me? Can I still relate to others? How will my life change?

 

My sense is that most people would rather “work on themselves” for 40 years than come face-to-face with the uncertainty of these questions.

And so we continue to run from that connection to Source, even as we tell ourselves that we are firmly turned towards it. We add layers of discipline, knowledge, and certainty (things we can control), on top of that connection to keep it just slightly out of contact. 

Peel away those layers. There is no one in history, no teacher, no higher power, no expert that knows your inner landscape in the same way you do. And the more we try to get to know ourselves through the eyes of others, the more we impose on ourselves the "way things should be", the farther away we get from the reality of who we are.

You are the expert in you.

Inquire with gentle curiosity, and then just listen. Your own genius knows the way.

It is this process of inquiry that I am sharing with you now.

 

To invite you, not to walk my path following my footsteps, but to offer you a safe container while you find your own way.

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With over 15 years of in-depth study and training in embodiment and in the yogic arts as a teacher, facilitator, and practitioner, as well as meditation, psychology, neuroscience, change management, conscious living, and the Non-Linear Movement Method®I bring to our sessions experiential knowledge, wisdom, structure and clarity, and a container designed to deliver a sense of safety, freedom, and trust.

 

This human experience is a playground.

It’s a place to experience deep, safe connection through the full range of your senses and emotions. 

 

Let me guide you to safety.

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